Welcome to the Something Variance Authority.
Please sign-in by clicking the link below where all of the opinions and ideas about the most recent Diz show, Loki will be revealed. If you bump into your own self, don’t stress it, it’s cool.. and yes, it’s ok if you make out with them. We here at the Something Variance Authority are totally ok with it.
That’s right Somethings, we’re heading into the Marvelverse again, but this time we’re bringing back a Something Alum – one of our favorite people in the world. None other than @UnGajje himself, Tim Stevens. After you are done listening – go check out Tim’s work on The Spool (@TheSpool on Instagram & Twitter) as it is a certifiable fact that you’ll want more of the entertainment this man provides.
So welcome to a fixed location in time. The rest of the future is mutable, but you – here – listening – is clearly something you shouldn’t mute.
Ready? Loki here we go!
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Have you been injured in the workplace, you may be due compensation? Where IS the beef! Have you ever felt… not so fresh?
The Somethings are here to freshen up your day with a brand new classic Somethingcast episode where we are talking about the hours of television we rarely talk about. The periods between all of those “stories” that we “enjoy” — that’s right, we’re talking about the commercials. Which ones are our favorites or have blown us away with their commercialness.
Find out now – and call soon, operators are standing by. ♫ Something you feel like a nut.. Something you don’t. ♫
..and now a word from our sponsors..
I recently saw a movie on Shudder that I’d like to talk about. We usually don’t use this space for individual reviews, but this was so unique, and so bothersome for me, that I thought I’d change up the formula.
If you don’t have Shudder, it’s the Netflix for horror films. From classics to a lot of new, to some original.. it really is a great mix of the genre. That said, horror is one of the easiest genres to do poorly, so there is quite a bit of bad amongst the brilliant.
Amongst them was a movie called ‘WNUF Halloween Special’ that came out in 2013. The reason that it is notable is that it is framed like a syndicated news report. I’m sure if you live near a larger city, you have your ‘WNYC NEW YORK’ affiliate with its ‘GOOD MORNING, DAYTON’ morning show and its weekend ‘PORTLAND LIFE WITH CHIP MOCKLY’ or whatever. They talked about the big stories, too, but they always felt a little more personal and it wasn’t unheard of to even know or run into the anchors.
Well, WNUF frames their handcam-horror show based on a report that came out in the late 80s, early 90s as a reporter and camera person go into a supposedly haunted house to perform a seance on Halloween. The anchors are smarmy, the host is a jaded old news rat, the locals that have gathered are awkward and have no idea how to talk into a mic. It feels as real as it possibly could. The first five minutes, I was floored that this concept had never been concieved of doing before.
Then the commercials. If the news spots were good, the commercials are amazing. Each one handcrafted to taste like some local business. State fairs, late movie creature features, car salesman in stupid outfits.. its all there with this grainyness and audio tinnyness that feels like it comes straight from its era and was ripped off VHS. Again – if you have nostalgia for this period of time – you will be blown away how hard it hits the nail on the head.
So we should watch it, you ask…
No – no you shouldn’t. Because what it succeeds in framing and graphical expertise in making everything feel and sound beautifully period, it fails in a story. It goes to commercials all too often, which is period accurate, but narratively frustrating as hell. In the same ways I was astounded that they made me feel like I was watching WPIX NY, I got angrier and angrier as a steady dose of nothing continued to happen.
I watch a lot of bad cinema, and I walk away going ‘well, they did what they set out to do’, but rarely does a piece of work make me feel anger at how much potential it gave up. If this is what my parents meant when they said ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ – then I finally get it.
If you have Shudder, do yourself a favor and watch the first 15 minutes of this… then turn it off, and imagine a really great movie they could have made. It will be better than the one you skipped.
You can find more reviews like this, over at my LETTERBOXD account where I catalog everything I watch when I remember to.
It’s the last of the YEAR 8 themed episodes, so now we get to The End… with our thinnest premise yet. STARG8.
What started as a surprising cult-hit of a sci-fi movie that, I say having seen it recently, still holds up — turned into a television epic that spanned multiple television shows, a couple made-for-tv movies, and a universe of characters.
This though, is the original. Stargate SG-1 and the end of its 10 season run.
Did it live up to its legacy? Was it simply a stopgap between one show and another network? Well, there’s only one way you are going to find out – and that is by either watching ten years of leaping through gates to mysterious lands, boldly going where no man has go– sorry, wrong one… you could watch the original, or you could just listen to our take on The End: Stargate SG-1
Ok, here we go!
IT’S STILL YEAR 8!
And now it’s time to spin the wheel.. the wheel full of odd and interesting ideas and weird episode ephemera we can’t seem to fit in any other week. So what happens when you take a movie – and recast it with the same actors… but from other roles?
Well, I’m going to tell you what – you have today’s episode of the Wheel where we try and shove other characters into Hateful Eight.
Why Hateful Eight? Because we have a theme we’re holding on to, and I’ll admit, this is the best we came up with. So, we go over the details of one of Quentin Tarantino’s most devisive movies and replay it, but with a bunch of weird choices.
Ready? Ok – here we go!
Just a lil story about a boy on his bike and the cute alien he keeps in the front basket…
…if by cute alien we meant horrifying kaiju – and by basket, we meant ‘from destroying the entire city’
It’s our Year 8 festivities yet again (hint: they’ll be going on all month) – so we are taking a favorite of Hatton’s and discussing whether it holds up – now or ever. So settle in, have a Slusho and dodge the incoming lens flare – it’s Super 8 on Something In Review…
Ok, here we go!
♫ Happy Birthday to us… ♫
♫ Happy Something dear Something… ♫
That’s right – the Somethingcast has made it to Year 8, and with that comes a month of a little something we call: More Episodes
That’s right, we’re celebrating Year 8 in style with a theme this month.. you’ll figure it out. That said, this week we went live on Twitch to party with a crew of folks and recorded it to become this week’s episode. We’re talking movie quotes, which is one of those topics that feels so remarkably part of who we are, it was a surprise we never actually broke down some of our favorites. Not the world famous, but OUR favorite.
So settle in and let us know what your favorite quotes are… we’re all ears – and cheers to Year 8!
Doesn’t it feel like we just had one of these? Well, that’s because we did back in March… which, as far as the world is currently, could have been last week or yesterday.
But that’s fine, because we’re back with another 5th Week Free-For-All – the ‘we didn’t plan for it’, ‘what’s going on with the boys’, ‘look, how much content do you expect from us a month, geez?’ episode where we just talk about the things we’ve been doing to keep from going insane inside of our thankfully, slowly disintigrating bubbles.
So settle in as we talk about what we’re up to, watching, playing — and ..whoa.. actually interacting with living fleshbag humans!?
Ok, yet again, here we go!
Carry On My Waayyyywarrrd Sonnnn….
Well this week we are carrying on about a show that went wayward quite a few times and yet never went too too far awayward. Dean and Sam have triumphed in Star’s Hollow, they’ve defeated the Harlem Globetrotters, they’ve taken down Galactus, twice, and now it’s time for them to hang up their monster-hunting boots.
A show with a legacy of fandom, a legacy of marching on beyond the end of the parade, and continuing to go on even after the Energizer Bunny said ‘..look, I’m taking a nap’ – Supernatural is going to stand as a testament to a lot of wonderful things about television, but also… you know.. some other things.
So did the last hurrah for the two men that have fought Satan, God, Nethercreatures, Demons, Angels, Archangels, and LARPers leave the imprint the show deserves?
…my guess is you are aware of the answer to that. OH! Before you listen ~ go click the survey button above.
So let’s get going with, shall we? Ok, here we carry on…
It should be no surprise that the Somethings love the 2014 reality game – The Quest. We were only given one season, but it has kept a rabid cult fanbase begging for it to be revisited.
Over the years, we have had the honor to become friends with some of the Paladins, so with a new Quest series coming to Disney Plus, it only felt right to head back to Everealm again and make some predictions about what is to come.
We are thrilled to welcome back to the show, Paladins Jasmine, Jim, and Patrick – as we discuss what adventures they have gone on since their journey, and what they are looking forward to when it comes to what a new threat will have to be defeated by a new team of Paladins. So, sharpen your swords and load up your scorpions – we’re sending messages to the Fates themselves as we talk about The Quest Season 2.
And if you are interested in what the Paladins have been up to – you can find them here:
Paladin Jasmine – Twitter: TolkienBlkGirl – Chaste Treasure : ChasteTreasure.com
Paladin Jim – Twitter: JimTheLibrarian – Facebook: PaladinJimCurry
Paladin Patrick – Twitter: PQHiggins – DeviantArt: PaladinPatrick – War Dragons (IOS)
The Quest Army – Twitter: TheQuestArmy – Insta : thequestarmy_offical
But now – let’s get to the good stuff – Ok, here we go!