Author: RevVoice

With the last Tuesday, a spooky 5th Tuesday, we interrupt our normal ‘Whatever the hell we do on the extra week’ and replace it with a NEW thing we do on the extra week, but we replace THAT with something that’s much more Halloweeny since this also is that day so really it’s sort of just an In Review week, but under a different name, but … ARE YOU SCARED?!

So let’s go to a small boardwalk town where kids are kids and they are thirsty … for blood….. and Chinese Food!

That’s right, we’re discussing your goth ex-girlfriend’s favorite movie, Lost Boys. Does it stand the test of time or is it just a Frog in Vamp clothing.

Find out on The Fifth Wheel – Not Really – In Review – Sorta – Halloweeny Lost Boys!

Ok, we’re confused!

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We promised October was shake-it-up month for the Somethings, and Hatton couldn’t be happier to reveal our new format type. You see, Hatton loves a good piece of garbage movie.. PCR doesn’t hate them, but he certainly likes them less. So we get the perfect Odd Couple moment as the Somethings dig their teeth into the bitter pill that is the budget movie experience.

So settle in as we start with a found footage alien film, brought to you by Asylum, and filmed on what is probably a bricked iPhone 3. Alien Origins is the tale of some people in the woods doing stuff, and you may think that is where we begin, but no… it goes on for so much longer.

So grab your popcorn and your Dramamine, you are going to need it. 1-Star Movie Review – Alien Origins has arrived.

Ok, here we go!

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I have spent many an hour over the last few months watching Columbo. Peter Falk as the ‘judging book by its cover’, appearing to be, but never actually are bumbling, has been listed so many times as one of televisions greatest charactrs that I thought I would give it a try.

Won’t lie, it’s fun. It’s really fun. There is a set of steps that every episode has that makes it easily digestable and, in some regards, if you’ve watched one, you’ve watched them all. At the beginning we see the murder, understand the motive, and we’re off to the races where Columbo figures out everything we’ve just seen.

If there’s a flaw, it’s that he always is asking the right question (or the wrong question for the right reasons). His catchphrase of finishing only to ‘oh.. wait.. one more thing’ always leads to the suspect being stopped cold that maybe this shabby buffoon knows too much!

But, as a template that was on television for 30 years, it worked. Here’s a quick list of some of my favorite episodes.

ETUDE IN BLACK – I think this one is the general world’s favorite. Maybe it’s because the special guest is John Cassavetes playing an intense and monsterous conductor who kills his other woman. Sometimes the best Columbos are the ones where it just looks like Falk is having a good time in a strange place… this one fits perfectly

A STITCH IN CRIME – The reason this episode is amongst the best is not because of Falk at all, but because of a post-Trek Leonard Nimoy who plays an arrogant doctor who clearly loves being the best at everything. Come for the snide Spockless Nimoy, stay for the amazingly horrible 70s sweaters.

COLUMBO GOES TO COLLEGE – This episode is admittedly a bit silly, as the method of death is more MacGuyver than Columbo, but watching Falk run around a college campus and pretending he’s dumber than these two smug college kids after they killed their professor is worth the price of admission.

THE SKY HIGH IQ MURDER CASE – For my favorite episode, it has to be the one where a bunch of brilliant nerds all gather in their nerdy clubhouse and nerd together. It’s Columbo goes to Mensa, and it is one of the few times where you see Falk drop the facade of ‘bad detective doing good’ and really lets the killer see that he has been matched.

And hey… almost forgot… one more thing, have you ever watch Columbo? What’s your favorite episode – sound off in all the usual places.

We all have movies that we think probably shouldn’t have been remade. We all have movies we think ‘it would be great to see that from a new perspective’ — well this week, the boys unleash a regular show that is becoming a staple as they head into the elevator to pitch the next not-new, new-again movie relaunch.

That’s right Elevator Pitch is now a monthly adventure. This week’s CEO is a long time friend of the show, the ringmaster of ACPN and Adult Swim Central, John Galbo!

What movie would you redo? Do you agree with the Somethings?  Find out on Elevator Pitch: 80s Remake!

Ok here we like yah fer shurr,

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Waalllllllt!

It’s been so long since I’ve done that. You see, we’ve started a new thing.. The Beginning. Since we’ve done it now for a couple episodes we thought, as PCR likes to put it, to rip the bandaid off and just get this one out of the way. Before the messages and tweets and you darling somethings ask for it, we’re just going to get the mystical island that haunts us out of the way.

And what did we think? I mean, the answer may surprise you… but it probably shouldn’t.

So settle in with your box of Dharma Initiative Fish Biscuits and get ready to go back yet again to The Beginning – Lost.

Ok, here we go again..!

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Last week we featured a list of our Bottom 5 Actors – and I promptly got a message from my sister, long time listener first time complainer, who said, ‘What about…’ and mentioned an actress that, for years, I had kvetched about. I had entire rants built around this one performer and she was surprised she didn’t make the top of my list.

Who? We’ll get there in a moment.

This, to me, is a perfect showing of precisely why I am certain my brain has an over-active repression gene. I would be concerned if it hadn’t been that way my whole life. I’d talk to someone about a video game I loved and they would say, ‘Oh, remember when Hero B plants their sword and screams because they finally had the revenge over their murdered mother.. wasn’t that awesome’ and I would stare dumbfounded, ‘Wait.. is that before or after you beat Bowser?’ — like, I just have a brain that things, even things I once held tightly to my bosom, fall out of.

Anyways, the actress is Helena Bonham Carter.

I guarantee, if you go back and listen to old episodes, I’ve done at least one rant about HBC’s inability to play anything but Marla from Fight Club wearing different outfits. (With the exception of Big Fish, which is the exception of HBC’s acting and Tim Burton’s everything else).  I’m sure she’s a delightful person, gives to charities, kisses puppies – the fact is that there was a hot minute in the early 00’s where I kept wanting to see movies and instead saw Madame AloofGoth draping herself across scenery and had complained about it enough that my sister was shocked she was unmentioned.

What this does mean, though, is if we decided to rerecord some of our topics from years gone by, not only would I possibly not remember that we did it.. I also might have entirely different answers.

(Also, my wife is still angry at me about Justin Long)

We made it to October, avoiding the heat death of the universe yet again.

But what we have not avoided, if I can get serious here for a moment, is disappointment. PCR and I have, at times in our lives, found we were looking forward to something or were interested in a film that was on the horizon. Sadly, not all of the things we look forward to are … well.. good. Sometimes they can’t meet our expectations where others they are just plain dog crap – so please enjoy this list of films that we have decided are The Most Disappointing Movies.

Ok, here we boo!

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Look, you can’t like everyone. It’s just impossible. I’m sure there’s at least one person out there in the universe that throws darts at a picture of me. Hell, some see it as a sign of a life lived well. Now, that said, when it comes to movies and television, some actors just aren’t our thing, either.

So join us as The Wheel goes out of its way to make Rob and I be assured we will never get those cushy Hollywood jobs we have been vying for all these years.

Find out which actors we just aren’t about on The Wheel’s Bottom 5: Actors

Ok here we ewww,

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Audio Blog

Last month, I paid into Microsoft Game Pass because Starfield was coming out and I am a fan of Bethesda games. Similar to Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed series, the Bethesda games are the same game with different coats of paint. It’s an entire genre of paint, but still guns for bows and arrows, space for wastelands.. I dig it.

Sadly, that game was made with top of the line hardware in mind and mine is not. It’s stupid, but it is what it is. Hell, it isn’t even what I want to talk about today.

Since Starfield was out, I stuck around with Game Pass to see what else they had, and saw that Lies of P was on its way. I downloaded it, played it for about 4 – 6 hours, and promptly uninstalled it because I can’t stand Souls Games. First, I need to clarify that this isn’t a situation of ‘getting good’ – I enjoy a lot of tough gaming genres… hell, I will play a Rogue-like until my eyes won’t dialate without seeing Dead Cells or Hades characters. Even ‘2-d Souls-Likes’ and I am a demon possessed. I am the kid who beat Mike Tyson on the Nintendo (I did, I swear).

But, put me in front of a Souls-like and I am a raging he-beast of gaming ineptitude which sucks because they almost all are in worlds I want to play in. Dark and grimy fantasy, please. The rooftops of feudal Japan, gods yes. A Steampunk dystopia filled with gearwork police, stick it in my veins. And yet, the idea of learning the location and timing of a dozen villains through try and die, learning the attack and block strats for a series of enemies, and doing the constant struggle to get to where you were before to figure out how you died to not die again and I have never ever come closer to taking my controller and hurling it through a window.

So, after those 5 hours, I uninstalled Lies of P, disappointed that there is yet another game that I won’t get to learn the secrets of because it is made with a type of gamer in mind that I, in fact, am not. It’s shocking how every part of those games seems to be painted with me in mind and yet, somehow, their unforgiving relentless need for near perfect leaves me going back to installing Opus Magnum and Human Resource Machine… you know, actually hard games. (I kid.. kinda)

Oh, and Lies of P was playing on Ultra, suck it Starfield.

Do you want to be a superhero, but your moral compass is all out of whack? Are you obliviously lost in a differente decade? Do you frequently get people telling you that they can’t see you?

If the answer is – you are John Cena and we’re glad you support the show. Please reach out for an interview, we won’t charge you much.

Anyway, this week we are discussing the Cena show that took the world by surprise. I mean, Cena has always had the comedy chops, but to hold up the lionshare on this ensemble piece is an impressive feat.  But what was that first episode? A good place to begin or over-hype?

Let’s answer the question on In the Beginning: Peacemaker

Ok here we AWABADOO… ba baa ba baa.

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