Before I get into this week’s topic – let me just say that this post includes some spoilers for Halloween Kills. If you haven’t seen it and you don’t want to have some of it spoiled for you – I suggest you skip this one.
Are they gone?
Ok, good. We didn’t want them here anyway.
I didn’t want to review Halloween Kills as much as I wanted to talk about what it did right and wrong. You see, the 2018 relaunch/new timeline/thing was, quite literally, the best Halloween movie I have ever seen. Of course it is hard to compare it to the 70’s original, but that movie defined the tropes of the ‘unkillable monster kills kids’ genre, but with that said, it did what no other Halloween movie had done other than the original… it engaged me.
Now, I love slasher flicks, obviously – but the reason you just don’t see that many is because the genre is stale with a rare exception (See: Terrifier, The Strangers) and there doesn’t feel like much more you can staple on to the old classics of Jason and Michael. But Halloween turns itself around. It isn’t a movie about a monster hunting a woman – it is about a woman who is prepared to kill the monster. It’s Laurie Strode’s movie. She isn’t the final girl – she is the protagonist.
Halloween Kills, as the middle chapter of the preordained trilogy, had hard shoes to fill. How do you keep the two away from each other so you can get to the actual really real final showdown, but also continue to try and turn the genre on its head?
You show what the PTSD of this monster caused to the town, the collective character of Haddonfield. With literal pitchforks in hand, this is a story of a hundred people who think they are just like Laurie Strode. They feel guilt about surviving, fear over Myers’ inevitable return, pain at what they’ve lost… and collectively they try and face Michael — and inevitably, they fail. It really is a brilliant concept, and I bet a few passes around with great writers could have evolved it into a movie just as strong as 2018’s was, but it can’t help but lean into its tropes, bury itself like a hatchet into the skulls of its viewer, and misses every mark along the way.
Somehow, the first film subverts its tropes and has ascended to easily the greatest slasher film of the last decade – and yet, even with a brilliant take on a sequel, the most recent film can’t help but feel like it has taken a step right back into what made people bored with the slasher genre to begin with.
I hope the final act continues the trend of giving us a different story than the one we expect. We’ve seen slashers die before, hell, we’ve seen Michael Myers die a couple of times.. the key is to make us still surprised by the idea.
Sure, Raimi did shakycam first… but did he give an actor a camera and tell them to just act like a dickweed for a few days and then scare the bajeezus out of him? No, that is Blair Witch territory – a movie franchise you either love or hate.
Maybe you love it because you fell for the gimmick of a movie that might have been real. Maybe you loathe the handicam films that it spawned. Perhaps, you love the whole mythos of the Burkittsville, MD creepy cryptid and need to know everything…
No matter what your stance is, they did a movie in 2016 that you didn’t see – and we’re going to review it. Is it as original as the first one? Does it answer the questions we threw into the damned river? Does it blow snotbubbles and apologize? Find out on Something In Review!
Ok, here we go.. standing in the corner…
Hey Somethings, PCR here.
So, I’ll admit, at the time of this writing, I have not yet finished Season 10 of The Walking Dead. I don’t have cable, so everything I watch is through streaming, and I finally got around to starting S10 about a week ago.
Mind you, I’m not watching because I’m excited about it.. I’m watching it because, in poker terms, “I’m pot committed”. While the show certainly feels different with Rick gone, I feel the show has been pretty boring since Terminus. Sure Negan breathed some life (no ironic pun intended) into the show in Seasons 7 and 8, but for the most part, The show has been a wash/rinse/repeat cycle of
“They don’t trust us!”
“Well, we have to behave to make them trust us”
“Hey, they trust us, we can stay here!”
“Oh shit, we did something stupid and ruined it all, now we have to leave!”
“Hey… we found someplace!”
“…they don’t trust us…”
“…well, we have to make them trust us…”
I was never a huge Daryl fan. King Ezikiel grew on me, and I like Carol. Gary is a great character. Gabriel has been interesting through the second half of S10, and Eugene has grown into his own man. I will say, I LOVE Princess so far.. she brings a whole new “uhhh..wtf?” but, it feels like a crumb in a sea of blandness. Even the Whisperers got lame this season. Out of 20 episodes (out of 22 for the season) I’ve seen so far, there has been exactly 1 scene that made me sit up and go “No shit…” and two lines I enjoyed. Oddly, all of them involved Negan. The reveal of who Negan drops the head in the bag to caught me off guard for sure. When the Whisperers were about to attack… uhh.. Hilltop? Alexandria? (I can’t tell them apart, and couldn’t honestly care less to) and Negan says “it’s time for folks to put on their shittin’ pants”.. well, I’ve started using that in unsavory situations. His exchange with Daryl when Beta’s identity is revealed of “Holy shit, you know who that was?” “Yeah, nobody” made me literally laugh out loud…but the bright spots have been few and far between.
Daryl’s missing 5 years? Don’t care. Leah? Nice to look at, but don’t need her story. Maggie coming back? Feels like a bone thrown to fans to have SOMEone ‘come back’ after her and then Rick left.
I don’t know what the last 2 episodes of Season 10 hold, and I don’t have much faith that the series will wrap itself up in a way that even a majority of fans will like at the end of Season 11… but I’ll watch when it comes out… just so I can say I finished it.
Who out there can say they are a documentarian, comic book writer, and vampire hip-hop mogul?
Only one guy we know, and if you are a fan of Vampire: The Masquerade or Geek & Sundry, you know him too – it’s B. Dave Walters!
With LA By Night finishing up with its fifth season, and this, the Something Spooktacular month, there is no better time to join in to see who lives, dies.. or dies again, rather..
We talk Vampire, his work on the Dungeons & Dragons comic ‘A Darkened Wish‘, his documentary ‘Dear America, from a Black Guy‘ and his upcoming work ‘ElectroPunk‘ – and if you want to keep track of everything B. Dave Walters does, the best place to find him is on Twitter: @bdavewalters
So grab some 10-sided die and spend some blood points, ok, here we go!
I’m so proud of the world… it finally discovered one of my favorite sub-niche’s of entertainment: Games of Death
Everyone has gone crazy recently, the meme machine is pumping out hits, for Netflix’s newest gift from across the ocean, Squid Game.
Now, this premise may have some similarities to other things you’ve seen: A group of people are in a game that when they lose.. they die. Of course the similarities are there to be drawn to a dozen other things: Battle Royale, Hunger Games, Roller Games, Running Man, Gladiator, Alice in Bordertown, Saw… it’s a pretty lengthy list of weird movies that I have an affinity for.
In the month since it’s come out, it has already done the life and death of an internet trend. Some people notice it. Some people meme it. Some people declare it is the best thing that has ever been created and that nothing has ever been as unique. Some people hate those people. Some people get sick of it being mentioned and promptly hate it without ever having seen it. And they are the usual round of reactions.
Is it good, yes, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about here. It’s about how cool I am. You see, it’s a weird thing when something you’ve loved since you were a kid hits the zeitgeist. I get why the hipster mindset of ‘I was there before it was cool’ comes out because it feels like something special that you’ve owned for so long and now it isn’t part of your personal entertainment genetic code. There is this gut reaction of, ‘Yes, I know you like Squid Game, but have you ever seen…’ that makes you sound like a complete tool. I mean, they like Squid Game, sure, but don’t they understand that the trope of the character that can’t be good at the game or the bully are simply common features of the genre? Geez people, come on!
If you look inside yourself, you know you’ve done the same thing. Maybe it was when everybody started loving comic book movies and you stared at your longbox full of X-Force #1 and wrote a lengthy angry Livejournal post? Or when everyone got into Sharknado and you, the foremost authority on horrible ‘animals in disaster’ movies felt horrible when nobody called you for an interview.
Here’s the thing you need to hear though: don’t be that person. It’s great to discuss the origins of a genre or note all of these other movies that people who enjoyed Squid Game may have liked, but guess what… you don’t own a niche or a sub-genre. Yes, it’s frustrating that more people are ignorant to the nuance of people being flayed alive by board games, but you get to be the ambassador. Tell them how fantastic Tag is or find interesting comparisons to make about the characters. Use your obsession for the power of good.. and be happy the popularity of Squid Game means you may get a lot more games of death to watch in the future.
So how better than to bring in the Autumnal Season of Horror than with two of our favorite people out in the internet’o’verse?
This week, the Somethings are talking about a very particular topic. Some horror movies are good.. some horror movies are bad.. but, what SECOND horror movies are worth giving a shot? Of course anyone can talk about Texas Chainsaw X: Leatherspace or Leprechaun: Bring It On, but when you are only limited to the sophmore outing of your horror series, what’s out there that triumphs?
Joining us are none other than the Silver Screams (@Silver_Screams) – Megan Salinas (@themenguin) and Katie Cullen (@kiaxet) – two internet savvy fear fatales that you can find anywhere fans are talking about the things they love.
So get yourself some Pun’kin Spice, and ok, here we BOO!
Hey Somethings, PCR here!
Now.. fair warning, if you haven’t caught up with the 1st half of AHS S10, you may want to pass this by…….
All in all, I’m mildly optimistic for Death Valley and to see how it ties in to not only Red Tide, but previous seasons as well.
If there is one thing that the Somethings don’t do.. it’s pitying fools. We don’t pity the fools, and we have, and will always have a ‘no fool pitying’ rule.
That said, we have somehow stumbled into this pit of fools, specifically the finale of the classic action adventure show, The A-Team.
So settle in as we look back to the finale of this beloved cult classic and ask whether it was worth the journey to get to this moment? From helicopters to Italian food names. From anchovies to exploding cars – did the A-Team go out with a bang, or more of a disgruntled Mr. T grunt.
There’s only one way to find out… join us for THE END: A-TEAM
Ok, here we go!
Can we discuss Wonka?
Those that know me know that there are a handful of movies that are ‘my thing’ – movies that, back in the day of VHS tapes and stegosaurii, my copies wore through. The original Wonka, Gene Wilder, 70’s perm and all, is probably the first film I can even think of that I wouldn’t stop watching as a kid. Since then, I’ve learned I wasn’t the only one and Wonka fits similarly into many people my age because of our exposure to it at the dawn of cable and the tape.
We are now getting not one, but two Wonka related movies and I am filled with the fury of a middle aged white man on the internet. So lets take a look at the rumors as to what we’re getting in the Wonderful World of Wonka and gauge how angry I’m going to be… to be clear, Depp Wonka gets me a 9 out of 10 on the Hate’Ometer, saved from a 10 solely by the CGI squirrels.
The first is a ‘young Wonka’ story, as portrayed by acting Wunderkind Timothee Chamalet (to be clear, I have no idea if he’s a wunderkind (or how to spell that)) I just know that he’s in a lot of places, and I don’t know anything about him. That said, this is rumored to be the first in a ‘Wonka Cinematic Universe’ which is a phrase that makes me wince so hard I felt my neck pop. The only saving grace to this entire concept is that the writer connected to it is Simon Farnaby who has done some notable work (including Rogue One, The Mighty Boosh) — but as the Depp Wonka taught us, sometimes, telling us too much ruins everything.
The second one is an animated series being created by Netflix and helmed by Taika Waititi of What We Do In Shadows and Ragnarok fame. This, mind you, I have less of a problem with as I have always wondered why there wasn’t a traditional Saturday Morning Cartoon about Wonka. There were cartoons for Back to the Future, Pac-Man, Robocop.. all that came well after the property had seen its golden days, so why not Wonka? A cartoon also feels quite less important in the scheme of the universe and a lot more ability to be playful without living in a green screen.
In the defense of both of these concepts, I do appreciate that they are being done by not-Americans. Waititi from New Zealand and Farnaby from England, Dahl’s humor and sensibility was most certainly not an American one and we’ve already proven we don’t deserve the rights to write a Wonka film… in the end, a cartoon gets only mild grunt from me, but a Cinematic Universe? Please don’t. Oh dot, please oh please do not. No good can come of it and what other books are you going to tie that into?! Maybe a discussion for another blog.
Unless, mind you, these Wonka properties help bring back Wonka candy bars… the ones that had the graham crackers in the blend… then you’ll get a pass as I sit on my couch with a mouth smeared in chocolate that a Gloop would be proud of.
thunder… Thunder… THUNDERCATS…
If, like me, your brain is now screaming ‘Hoooo!’ – you were likely of an era of a particular vintage of cartoons. WYou are left with questions … is Cheetara naked? Do Thundercats mate with their relatives or do they just ignore that cat thing?
And most important question of all…. If there was a Thundercats Movie, who should star in it?
So, this week on THE WHEEL, we are going to throw out our own ideas as to what the perfect Thundercats movie is – and we are not doing it alone. Joining us once again are the greatest Kevins in all the land – Kevin Gootee & Kevin Israel – also known as Gutting The Sacred Cow, a brilliant podcast where you can hear some of your favorite things torn to shreds. We would like to thank them for taking this trip to Thundera with us and giving us insight beyond insight.
Ready? Well, ok here we snarf snarf….