Tag: 2022

Three people went off into the Burkettsville woods, and weren’t heard from again… this isn’t their story.
A bunch of other people went off into the woods to take a tour about the people that were never heard from again, which does kind of infer they were heard from again, albeit unintentionally, and now there are tour groups for them and they are apparently cult icons to weiros and documentarians…. this is sort of their story….

Two podcasters decided to sit down and watch Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and tell you what they thought – this is most certainly their story.

So settle in and throw your map into the river – it’s Something in Review: Blair Witch 2

Ok, here we g-g-g-g-hoooost!

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Does that say ‘Predictive Algorithms’?

Yes it does. You see, when you are an old internet hand like myself, you’ve seen a few generations of how material is fed to you.  Traditionally, forums, bulletin board systems, usenet, even LiveJournal would feed you data in a very organized fashion… by date and time. You stopped reading at 6pm last night, so now you can go look and read everything up until that point… and then you’re done. Do that once or twice a day and you have a source of balanced internet…

Then someone had the great idea that if you show people things out of order – they don’t know when to stop reading…. and it worked. Hell, if you throw in the occasional thing they have already seen, you can get them to stay even longer because that means you can feed them more advertising. Then, someone thought, what if we shorten the amount of content so they can absorb EVEN MORE!  So now long form posts turned into Tweets. Youtube videos turned into Vines. Vines turned into Tiktoks. I, personally, find no joy in them, but if someone shows me something very funny.. I can even get caught in scrolling through 10 or 20 before I realize I am not enjoying it.

The sad thing is, you can’t put this genie back in the bottle. Video sites predict which videos you want to see, and knows the right time to show you a video you saw already and liked so you watch it again. News sites show you the information that you interact with, using the old Howard Stern truism ‘The people that like him listen an hour, the people that hate him listen for two’ — so it feeds you opposition to enhance your engagement.

What’s your point, Hatton? 

Would you believe it’s simply that this is a perfect place to bitch about how the modern internet is built on giant companies feeding you unending redundant oppositional information in an attempt to keep you angrily watching advertisements and it makes me nostalgic for days where I could just see what’s happened since 6pm last night? And that this whole thing was spawned off the fact that Youtube won’t allow me to NOT watch ‘Shorts’ which are just another variety of staccato 30 second lipsync videos and it’s driving me nuts?

That’s my point. I’m old and grumpy and miss the old wild west internet…. and if you do too, please sign our guest book below and join the Something Podcast Webring brought to you by Angelfire.

The again for The Wheel, the machine that tells us what we’re doing and how – and boy howdy does it hit us with the big’uns tonight.

In this corner – hailing from deepest darkest Ohio…
In this corner – the European with the meanest bite…
In this corner – a milkdud from the internet…
In this corner – from the wetlands of Scotland…
In this corner – from the mountains of America…
In this corner – from my former field of goats…
In this corner – from that one street nobody drove down…
In this corner – from Planet Arrakhis…
In this corner – from Montauk…. no, seriously… Montauk
In this corner – from the SomethingSomethingcast Studio…

Ok, LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMBLLLE!

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Not all horror movies are created equal… you see, some movies are amazing because they are frigging amazing. Some are amazing because they are bad. Some are just……. bad.

We’re talking about all of them, because none of those headers quite describes ‘lame’.  What is a lame movie? Is it stupid? Does it have a single factor that makes it worse than another? Is it just boring?  Hatton and PCR get into it about what precisely makes a piece of entertainment lame and then tell you their choices.

Join us as we start SomethingSpooktober with a horrorpalooza for the ages!

Ok, here we boo!

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Did you know I have a Saints Row tattoo?

I do – and I have a rule about any of my video game tattoos, and that is I’m allowed to buy games before they go on discount if I have something grafted on my body from them.  So when a new Final Fantasy comes out, a new Portal game, Tron, Bubble Bobble, etc… I’m allowed because I’ve got them inked into my leg.

Do you know what game I don’t own? The new Saints Row game, and that’s because the reviews have been beyond ‘less than stellar’ and moved into ‘godawful bad’.  It sucks, because Saints Row is, as proven by the winged fleur de lis on my leg, one of my favorite franchises of all time, but sadly, when it comes to games that were cutting teeth on edgy sarcasm and hysterical inappropriateness.. you can never go to Steelport again.

So what’s left in 2022 if I don’t have Saints Row to look forward to anymore? Aside from the impending heat death of the universe, here are some of the games slated for 2022 releases I have interest in… it’s a crapshoot if they come out in the next three months though.

HARVESTELLA – Oh, hello there Final Fanta-Stardew Valley.  I expect you to suck hours away from me with your gorgeous seasonal landscapes and, guaranteed, untold secrets that can only be found on weird days of the year when the moon is in the proper phase because Squeenix likes its fans rabid.

GOTHAM KNIGHTS – I think people treat Arkham Knight too harshly. The driving and missle parts of the game were UTTERLY out of place, but they were kinda fun. So now, I get to play as Nightwing, Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman, Batmutt, ManBat, BatBat, and Azrael?  Hells yes, albeit there is no reason to buy this game day one. It will be a buggy mess and 6 months GOTY edition will be a much better game.

GOD OF WAR: RAGNAROK – The God of War games were never important to me — but be damned if the 2018 relaunch didn’t help me get through the opening fears of the pandemic.  My fingers hurt from killing angels and birds and boating from one part of the world to the other, which was exactly the distraction I needed. I hope this game can live up to the hype.

MARVEL’S MIDNIGHT SUNS – I kinda don’t expect this game to come out on time… and if it does, I am super concerned about it being good.  Marvel’s been doing better than its previous world of ‘MATCH 3, BUT WITH SILVER SURFER’ gimmicks… and the line-up in this game feels shockingly wide.  Turn-base Tactical Comic Game where I can play as Nico from Runaways… plug it into my veins.

So what games are left in the year that you want to see!  Let us know!

Yeah, so Marvel has had hit after hit. The Avengers, Daredevil, Mandolorian, Sandman, Teen Titans… all of the big hitters! Well, there was once a time where Marvel wanted to throw up the middle finger to some mutants and turn to the Moon for inspiration.

If this means absolutely nothing to you, then you clearly missed The Inhumans, a one season attempt to make an obscure part of the Marvel Universe more important.

Did it work? Was it the next Agents of Shield or was it an Iron Fist to the gut?

Find out now on THE END: INHUMANS

And if you would like a sample of what our new Patreon episodes are going to be like, you can get the Patreon version of this episode for free, right here!

Otherwise, ok here we Terragen Mist!

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Not every decision is a good one… just think of any strange flavor, because Japan has probably turned it into a Kit-Kat.

Well, the same goes for movies. Sometimes there is a choice in a film that just brings down the whole affair. The wrong actor at the wrong time or the right actor in the wrong film – sometimes you just don’t want Wasabi in your Chocolate Wafers.

So join the Somethings as they spin The Wheel and discuss their choices for the Bottom 5: Casting Decisions!

Ok, here they .. oh, one more thing! The Something Patreon is coming back, and the link will be up at the top of the page by next episode!

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There is a lot of buzz going on about the Little Mermaid remake – which is something we will be talking about a bit more in depth in a future episode, so I’m not going to here. To be clear, anyone who gets upset about the skin color of a live action cartoon movie about fictional mythological Danish creatures, or can’t seem to wrap their head around the fact that Lord of the Rings doesn’t actually take place in Medieval Europe and elves aren’t real… your opinion is pretty much voided on principle.

Not my point tonight.

What I DO wish to discuss is WHY you should care about The Little Mermaid live action (and other ‘why are they doing this’ movies) and the number one reason you aren’t hearing more about this point:

1. Disney doesn’t want to talk about it.

This year, there is a Winnie the Pooh movie coming out that has nothing to do with a rumbly tumbly hunny lovin bear, and has everything to do about a cannibalistic monster and his piggie friend on, what I assume, will be a horrifying murder spree. The original A.A. Milne stories have reached public domain level, so you can go do a Winnie story, but you must be assuredly certain that the version you are utilizing is THAT version and not anything close to the Jim Cummings voiced silly ol’ bear. Next year, Steamboat Willie finally gets to public domain after Disney has destroyed our copyright law to save him.

That’s why there is a new Little Mermaid, a CGI Lion King, a Maleficent and Cruella film. Disney is thrilled if they do well, but if they don’t.. eh, that’s ok, they’ve served a far greater legal purpose of continuing to push a variation of a character they can hold on to.

The best thing you can do next year when the lifeless, like a doll’s eyes, black and white mouse finds his way into all of our legal hands – much like when Winnie The Pooh: Blood & Honey comes out, is support the endeavors of these people who are throwing our public ownership into the face of the beast that has continued to push laws that allow them to own things forever. And this is Disney we’re talking about.. the company that owns everything, anyway.

All I’m asking is for you to go see THOSE pieces of entertainment, if anything, because it really will tick the mouse off.

We’re nearing SomethingSpookums season, so wasn’t Hatton surprised when Rob suggested one of the Summer’s sleeper horror hits Black Phone.

A young man is kidnapped by the local kidnapper, natch, and through a series of mysterious moments… maybe he finds his way home?

Was it good? Was it great? Was it overhyped or just right? It’s time for Something in Review: Black Phone

Who ya gonna call! …wrong movie, sorry…

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♫ We’re goin back…. back… back to schooOol ♫

Now, we’re aware tha tmost of the people that listen to his show have had no more pencils, no more books, no more of those dirty looks for at least a decade… but that does not mean that there isn’t a whole series of films that take place int he hallowed halls of alma maters across this great land of ours.

So which ones are the Somethings favorites? Which ones go straight to detention? How many can do the triple lindy?

Find out if you agree, or rather are.. just one of the guys…

Ok, here we go to 3rd period Chem!

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