As a fan of professional wrestling, even when I’m not wholly invested in the product, my favorite weekend of the year is this weekend – The Royal Rumble, where 30 people enter the ring 2 minutes apart and the last one standing at the end gets a big title match at Wrestlemania. It has been a yearly tradition for me to gather with friends, pick numbers, and enjoy it. In 2018, that same group got to watch live in person as Shinsuke Nakamura won the Men’s Rumble and Asuka won the Women’s. This year is the first time in three years we will all gather together again after .. well, ya know..
So I thought I’d take a minute and talk about a few wrestlers, modern and old, that never won the Rumble but should have, or just won’t.
Kofi Kingston – When I was a kid, I was really into wrestling. Now, I get occasionally invested in a wrestler or a story. The story of Kofi’s rise to WWE Champion was the last story WWE did that I felt so full-heartedly invested in that when he lost in a garbage match to a garbage person, I stopped watching and haven’t gone back other than the occasional big event. To see him win the Royal Rumble… I’d probably be back to weekly viewing unapologetically.
Mr. Perfect – Curt Henning was an amazing performer from top to bottom. A technical wrestler before the era of smaller framed guys was the thing. A character that exuded so much obnoxiousness you just wanted someone to beat the snot out of him. The mileage he could have gotten out of a Rumble win would live on to this day. In 1990 he was the last person thrown out by the winner, Hulk Hogan.. but imagine a world where he won it.
Bryan Danielson – If you know anything about the history of Bryan and the Rumble… you’ll know how his lack of appearance, or quick elimination, drove an audience to turn on The Rock, Roman Reigns, Rey Mysterio.. for two years in a row. For a minute he was the only person in wrestling people cared about, and he did great for himself without that win, but it would have been amazing to see him get it.
Barry Horowitz – Ok, here me out.. because non-wrestling fans are going ‘Who?’ and wrestling fans are going ‘..wait, what?!’ – The Rumble is supposed to be this moment where anything can happen, and yet year after year it is the people who you probably expect to win.. winning. You walk in knowing the top 5 options and sometimes the only option. For as much as its touted that anything can happen – very often it is an hour long showcase of ‘won’t happens’ and 10 minutes of ‘which obvious answer’. So why shouldn’t a guy like Barry Horowitz, who is known as one of the greatest losers in wrestling history. A man who lived to make other guys look dangerously good. …What happens if he wins? What happens if someone you just don’t expect comes out and wins?
Why can’t the Rumble be a place where, out of nowhere the least likely candidate becomes a Main Event Contender.
The answer is money… obviously, but I hope one day we get a Rumble that defies all expectations.
Maybe it’ll be this weekend.
The Tick is one of those weird moments in comic book history, like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… taking what we know about superheroes and just making it weird. So, how do they make it weirder? They make it a live action show on a low-budget and put the only man who looks like the cartoon in the role.
Does it hold up? It only got half a season on Fox which could mean it was amazing and Fox screwed up or horrible and.. well, Fox screwed up..
Find out as we dive into the oceanic trench of justice on the submarine that is: The End – Tick!
Ok, here we go, chum!
The Wheel is back, and it’s got a job to do…
Ok, it doesn’t, that would be weird, it’s a Wheel. It has a job, and it does it well. We spin it, and it gives us the week’s topic. The topic though, well that’s a different job entirely. You see, if you have watched any television in the last twenty years, you have seen, at some point, a show about bakers or flower arrangers or glass blowers or taxis. Doing your boring-ass day job probably has its own channel on Pluto, so what happens when the Somethings get to make their own?
It’s a brand new episode of The Wheel – Elevator Pitch
Ok, here we g…..are you ready to face 5 other chat format podcasts on… PodWars!
New Year, New reasons to zone out in front of a video game machine and lose countless hours to creating worlds, destroying monsters, leveling up, grinding away at horrible unending boss-fights, and forgetting you were supposed to do a blog because you just had to have one more match. So here are is a handful of the games that are supposedly going to be released in 2023 that I am tentatively excited to get my hands on:
Storyteller – This indy-ish title is currently a Switch game, possibly PC, and the playstyle seems so simplistic I wonder how it will hold up as a full game, but the premise alone has be salivating. Simple drag and drop to evolve a story – with multiple (possibly many many multiple) paths. I have only done a little bit of reading up on it, and actively avoided more, because I want this game to be a complete surprise for me.
Hollow Knight: Silksong – Hollow Knight was one of the most engagingly frustrating experiences, but sits amongst Celeste and Crypt of the Necrodancer as games that I will grind at until I can’t feel my fingers anymore just to get that sweet sweet achievement. If you’ve never played the original, and you enjoy platformers, there are few better.
AEW: Fight Forever – I’m hesitant on this one, but excited to find out if I’m wrong. The world has needed a better big name wrestling game that doesn’t have the WWE name connected to it, that stops trying to make a wrestling game like you make a football game. Wrestling isn’t a sport, so its game shouldn’t feel like one. Fight Forever has that look, although its recent addition of zany minigames makes me curious if it will just be all gimmick and no substance.
Colossal Cave – Ken & Roberta Williams are names that gamers of a certain vintage will remember as the cause of sleepless nights as they tried to figure out how to stop the guard, only to realize you have to buy the macaroni salad to give to his pet fish so that you can use the bowl to pretend you are a space man. The grandparents of the modern adventure, they are going back to where it started with a reimagining of one of the first adventure games ever made. And it comes out next week!
…and a quick shout to games I’m very interested in, but don’t have big hopes for (and hope I’m wrong)
- Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Another attempt to eat a slice of Dead by Daylight’s cake… I’ll be ok if it’s a budget title with a banging soundtrack.
- Minecraft Legends – Minecraft meets old school RTS? I love the universe, I’m iffy about what I’ve seen.
- Starfield – The new Bethesda IP.. I’m hyped, I just don’t expect it will actually come this year.
- Dead Island 2 – I expect this one will come out and be a disappointment, but I don’t WANT it to be
This entry is brought in by Patron Doug – Thanks Doug!
Three people get their lives intertwined and shenanigans ensue. Those shenanigans involve big money crimes, and pleasant interactions with bank tellers, and a love triangle that completely and totally makes a ton of sense and solidifies this as one of the cinema relationship greats.
That’s right, we’re talking about the movie poster you’ve seen that one time, starring John McClain, Slingblade, and …wait, is that right? Cate Blanchette? Yup, that Cate Blanchette.
We’re talking Bandits! Okay, here we go!
And if YOU want to know how to give us stuff to talk about, all while getting your Something early, uncut and unedited… head over to our Patreon to find out how!
Sometimes, the world gives us truths. Things that you can hang your hat on and believe them. Sometimes, because of the internet, you learn that those things that you felt so secure in were invented by a kid with Photoshop in 2014 and have been debunked a thousand times and now you look foolish.
Don’t worry – we’ve all been there, so to start off the year we are looking at the last year of Snopes and talking about our favorite stories. What were you people sharing and/or stopping your great aunt Petunia from sharing? Find out now!
This is it – the end of the Retrocasts. Thank you all for letting us sleep, and we will be back in 2023 with a bunch’a great stuff…
Here’s what we wrote then:
Podcasts… The Final Frontier..
It’s time for the first End of 2021, so we are going to the future to talk about one of the godfathers of modern sci-fi – Star Trek – and discussing its final episode. Will Kirk and the boys hold up the banner of Starfleet high and make us all feel comfortable with the future Roddenberry envisioned… or will they try and tell us women are amazing and gentle creatures prone to psychotic mood swings?
Find out on THE END: Star Trek ..but you probably already have it figured out.
Ok, here we boldly go..
We’re rounding near the end of our Best of 2022, with Rob’s Pick, End: Carnivale
Here’s what we said then:
Time to hitch the wagons, hit the dusty trail for the next town, the next ballyhoo, the next mark on the route.
That’s right, it’s time to lay on hands with the rest of the geeks as we settle down to discuss Carnivale. The HBO darling that ended too soon, but why? Was it rolling downhill towards a depression or was it a show that was just too far ahead of its time for people to be able to dig their teeth in… well, there is only one way to find out, and that is to keep your hands outta our poke, save it for the cake eaters, hang with the gazoonies on The End: Carnivale!
Ohhkay here we step right up step right up it’s time for the amazing half man half man… The Man Man!
It’s a yearly tradition – the Somethings gather some of our friends and we have ourselves a big ol’ hangout. No lists. No reviews. Just talking holidays, nostalgia, and the subtle descension of our minds into an internet-addicted dystopia.
The best of the holidays, am I right?
So please, settle in as Rob & Hatton, Awesome Talk’s Rick & Sarah, and Matt & Becky of PreRecLive all make with the merry .. oh, and there may be a special guest who was unable to join us, but still found a way to interject in his own Marcus’y way.
From all of us to all of you – Thank you for being with us and we hope you have a safe and happy holiday.
Ok here we go ho ho!
December is flying by, we’re already up to our favorite episode of The Wheel – and since Hatton can’t stop loving things that are subjectively wonderfully delightfully bad… he picked Bottom 5: CGI, enjoy!
What we said then:
The Wheel has returned… and the narrative of the Wheel takes a new turn! Get it? Nevermind…
Anyway, there are some new topics on the Wheel, and we have been hit with one of them. You know how Rob and Hatton are always talking about their favorite things? Well, this week they are talking about the Bottom 5, the worst, the shameful, the hysterically bad, and the ‘wait what?’ in the realm of computer generated graphics and green screen in film.
So gather round and think back to all of those horrible aliens, blood splatters, and technological marvels that were clearly added in post, just like your hosts on BOTTOM 5: CGI
Ok, here we go!