Tag: 2022

I originally had an idea that I was going to discuss some of the public domain stuff that is going on right now (like the Pooh Bear horror movie) – but I’m going to save that for a bit.  Instead, I would like to babble about the horrible nature of modern social media.

WHAT A FUN JOURNEY THAT WILL BE, HATTON!?

Yeah, I know – sorry.

So here’s a list of internet and social media trends that drive me cuckoo bananas:

CHANGING THE YEAR ON OLD CONTENT

Go into your google machine and type in, ‘Best Puzzle Games of 2022’ and you will get pages and pages of lists. I guarantee you that 90% of those lists will say they were written in the last two months and most of them won’t have any modern content in them.. some won’t have games from before 2020.  That’s because internet content on surprisingly popular websites simply repost their own blogs every few months with updated dates. A few will change the headline to be less shameless, ‘Puzzle Games You Should Play In 2022’ or ‘Some of the Best Puzzle Games (2022)’ but the fact is they are garbage lists by garbage people and won’t help you with your search.

REACTION VIDEOS

I brought this point up on Facebook and got a range of responses, so let me clarify… if you have knowledge on a topic and are reacting to it like ‘Opera Singer Comments on Heavy Metal Music’ or ‘CGI Experts Watch The Scorpion King’, that’s fine. You are adding something to the conversation. If you scroll through TikTok and see a post of a guy watching someone make ice cream….. and then… he goes ‘Wow’ or makes approving gestures, or the worst of it, is over-excited about someone at Coldstone folding fudge.. why?  Why is watching people watch things interesting now? Why do I care about your facial expressions?  (Spoiler: I don’t.)

PADDED “TROLL” VIDEOS

This is a bit of a niche, but there is a surprising amount of Facebook videos that have an interesting sounding premise ‘This woman opened a box and you won’t believe it…’ By and large, that title is clickbait incarnate, but hey, I can spend a minute while she opens a box… until she realizes there is twine that she needs to get scissors… that don’t work… so she pulls at the string… finally it snaps… under the first wrapping is more wrapping… with more string.  At this point in time, you look and see that this video is 20 minutes long.  You click to the end, see the ending sucked, and leave.  Why does it exist? Is it just a troll?  Nope. That “creator” (a loose term at best) just got ad revenue for you being sucked into that garbage.

– STAY TIL THE END

This is a newer trend. First, let’s address that it is mighty sad that your content is so bad on Tiktok that you need to tell people to ‘stay to the end’ because you are afraid you can’t hold their attention for 80 seconds.  The second part of that is that you are probably right, your 80 seconds of content is garbage. It is rare a video that feels the need to tell you to stay gives you any actual reason why you should stay.  This follows along with the reaction videos listed above, and sometimes are in the same video.

Imagine if you were watching the Godfather 2, and sometime in the middle of DeNiro squishing olives, a big banner flashed on the screen ‘STAY TIL THE END’…

CONCLUSION

I’ve been on the internet longer than most… which makes me feel old because it is a statistical truth. With the advent of short-attention-span videos/stories/reels/vines/tiktoks, I have finally reached the spot where I don’t get it.  #OldManYellsAtCloud

On the first week of the month we do a themed episode. The second and third are Something in Review and The Wheel. The 4th week is The End — but what happens when there is a fifth week tot he month?  What are the Somethings supposed to do?

Well, if you have been listening to our show for any length of time, you should know it is time for a Something Free-For-All which is where we take a week off from planning something and just hang-out for a little while.

What are we watching? What are we playing? How’s our day been?

It’s all there – and more – on the Something Free-For-All!

Okay, here we go!

Full Episode

Time to hitch the wagons, hit the dusty trail for the next town, the next ballyhoo, the next mark on the route.

That’s right, it’s time to lay on hands with the rest of the geeks as we settle down to discuss Carnivale. The HBO darling that ended too soon, but why? Was it rolling downhill towards a depression or was it a show that was just too far ahead of its time for people to be able to dig their teeth in… well, there is only one way to find out, and that is to keep your hands outta our poke, save it for the cake eaters, hang with the gazoonies on The End: Carnivale!

Ohhkay here we step right up step right up it’s time for the amazing half man half man… The Man Man!

Full Episode

Now, it’s understood I get down with a little Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior, that I have a Chrono Cross tattoo and will go on a lengthy rant about how FF7 is overrated (important in the history of games, definitely – intelligible? Nassomuch…) But that’s not what I wanted to talk about today. You see, given that Rob and I are well-rounded nerds, we also have enjoyed ourselves some tabletop roleplaying in years gone by. Sadly, as the years progress, the years gone by keep getting by’er. That RPG itch has only grown as I see things like Critical Role get popular, validating that it IS possible to gather a handful of people together online or in meatspace. If they can do it.. why can’t I!?

Here are a few rpg’s that I really want to dig into and just haven’t gotten a chance to because we all live in hermetically sealed bubbles.

MUTANTS & MASTERMINDS
First off, I love superheroes. The idea of playing in a game where we are all super-human somethings in a world that hates and fears us or are the First Family or even a Government Sanctioned Team of criminals.. I don’t care, I’m in. Hand me d20s and let me look at the power generation table. Hell, I’ll role randomly and be THRILLED that I now have Plasma Flower Powers. If someone like Speedball can get his own book, I can make it work.

PROMETHEUS
There are two World of Darknesses. The Old World, which is what most of us know and love with its political vampires and eco-warrior werewolves. The New World of Darkness never really stuck to me well, but one of the books that came out did… big time. Prometheus is the story of Frankenstein, or to put it more broadly – golems. Whether they are elemental beasts (like the traditional ‘made of earth’) or hewn together from parts by mad doctors, the idea is so neat that I hope one day to be rolling a handful of d10s on performance to sing ‘Puttin on the Ritz’

KIDS ON BIKES
One of the coolest trends in RPGs of the last decade is the ‘storytelling’ game, where it is less about a narrative a DM has put together and more about a world that the party duct tapes together with their characters. Fate, Monster of the Week, and Kids on Bikes are all examples of games that lean into this premise. Kids on Bikes is specifically about that nostalgic ET, SUPER 8, STRANGER THINGS vibe that immediately makes me want to build characters in a Speilbergian idealistic mid-80’s sleepy town.

INVISIBLE SUN
If you haven’t heard of any RPG on this list… it’s this one. A few years ago Monte Cook games put out a Kickstarter for this black cube of a game. It comes with a tarot deck and a hand, and a thousand books, and pamphlets, and it is legit insane the amount of material in this thing. The fact is, not many people own it, and those of us that do, it is SO dense on material, it would be really hard to play it without at least two people knowing what the hell is going on. Seriously, look at this thing and tell me you are not equal parts intrigued and horrified at the learning curve.

Oh, and Monte Cook isn’t helping by selling the PDF version for $99….

What games are YOU looking for group?

The Wheel is a neverending mistress, always spinning, always providing. It is the alpha, the omega, and what decides our fate. We are but pawns in its sometimes brilliant, sometimes cruel decisions.

Today, the Wheel spins yet again, and the Somethings are confronted with their biggest disaster yet – plotting their own elevator pitch for a Disaster Film!

To join them on this harrowing adventure, they have called in the source of Crystal’s Imagination, Crystal Storm!

So settle in, hold your loved ones tight, and dodge the falling meteors, it’s Elevator Pitch: Disaster Movie!

Ok, here we woooaaahhh, was that a tremor? I felt a tremor…

Full Episode

Hey there Somethings!

Today’s (apparently) another installment of “Podcast Rob Shakes Fist At Cloud” as I lay out some video games I was hopeful about but just didn’t cut it for me!

Star Wars Squadrons

Flying Game?  Check.  Dogfighting Flying Game?  Check.  Fun?  Ehhh…..
I never played any of the original “X-Wing vs TIE Fighter” games.. but I do enjoy me some Star Wars, and I was really hoping to like this.  The dogfight maps feel oddly small, (I mean, I understand they’re trying to keep frantic action in a confined space) and… oddly confined…. like.. it’s SPACE why can’t I go fly.. you know.. .over THERE?  Also the back and forth of the combat is intriguing and keeps one side from just steamrolling, but, it still feels like it’s amazingly clunky.

Dark Pictures Anthology : Little Hope

I.  Loved.  Man of Medan.  I’m enjoying House of Ashes even more.  Little Hope was… aptly named.  In MoM and HoA, the choices made sense to me.  In LH the choices felt.. mind-numbingly inane.  The one that sticks out the most was breaking in to the police station… there’s LITERALLY bricks and 2x4s and pipes and crap laying around.. but this.. THIS is a good time for one of the characters to chide the other about “Hey..   I bet you can’t throw this rock through that window!” Just make it make sense….

Vampire the Masquerade : Bloodhunt

Ok, I’m not a fan of BR type games.. not my jam.  I DO however love me some VtM and am eagerly awaiting Bloodlines 2.  To that end, I said “Let me check it out.. it’s free.. right?”  Overall, I like what they’re trying to do… different clans, different powers, how they effect the overall BR gameplay.. it’s a good concept.  However, the player base is still relatively small, and because of that the number of hackers/cheaters is VERY disproportionate, and the game doesn’t seem to have a good way of perma-banning them.  Much like Rocket League (which, surprisingly, didn’t make this list…) before I stopped playing I could only do one or two matches before my rising blood pressure made me tap out.

Any Poorly Ported Game

I like my driving/racing games.  I’ve tried to play many of the older(ish) Need for Speed games either through Steam or GamePass and, I’ll be honest, when I have to THEN scour the internet for some sort of additional patch that I have to read up on how to install just so when I lightly tap the stick to go left my car won’t immediately go in to donuts because the port over of the game couldn’t handle/work with current controller drivers.. it’s a hard pass for me.

Legacy : A Star Wars Audio Drama returns this coming Tuesday!  Catch up here before the new episode!

– PCR

Since the world is currently learning what artsy nerds have known for 20 years, that The Sandman is amazing, the Somethings had the brilliant (and coincidental) idea to do a movie that ties in ever so slightly to the Sandman mythos… the story of a man who can see the evil forces that move between worlds and fight them for the benefit of his own soul.

He also knows kung-fu… whoa…

This month, we are looking at the Keanu version of Hellblazer in – Constantine. Does it hold up? Did it ever? Did you even remember it existed?

Find out these answers and more, on Something In Review: Constantine

Ok, here we ghoooOooOooost

Full Episode

So to start us off – this whole discussion spawned off of our recent ‘Franchises That Should Have Stopped‘ episode. Apparently, I touched a livewire with some controversy that I had never stumbled upon. Surprising, given I love a bad movie and I love a weird story… the tale of Joe Dante and Gremlins 2 had passed me by.

I appreciate some of our listeners telling me how wrong I was about how Gremlins 2 being bad.  They explain that it is, in fact, kind of brilliant if you understand what’s going on.  I went and read the tweet thread on it (with a big shoutout to Professor Murder and Kess) as well as watched some interviews with Director Joe Dante, and fell into the rabbithole that is Gremlins 2.

The short version – Warner Brothers didn’t expect Gremlins to be a hit, but it was. They wanted a sequel, but Joe Dante, director of the first one, didn’t want to make it. They kept throwing money at him until he relented, and in turn, used the budget to make a commentary as to why Gremlins didn’t need a sequel.  Dammit… that’s good.  He went in with making a movie that embodies the absurdity of commercialism culture, sequels, lampoons Ted Turner and Trump, the bad reviews that Gremlins received, and the disregard of classic cinema.  So, let me state, right here and now, that as an adult looking at the call and response of an artist making fools of the studio with their own money…

BUT!

When lil’ me was 10 years old with my Gizmo toy and perfect impression of Stripe going ‘DEEAGLE DEAGLE DEAGLE’ who saw the original film at the drive-in, watched Gremlins 2 and read the novelization (which does not feature Hulk Hogan, but a cut-in by Brain Gremlin which may have been my first real exploration into meta-text) — I was confused. The movie I got felt so much closer to Critters or Killer Klowns than it did the perfect scary Christmas movie about a terrorized small town that was the original. As an adult, I don’t even know what I could have received that would have sated my Gremlins love. Ghostbusters 2 was good, but not great. Honey I Blew Up The Kids… meh.

What could G2 been that would have held any candle to the original?

I have to accept that maybe the correct answer is that the only movie that deserved to follow Gremlins, was the Gremlins 2 we got – and knowing the whole of the tale makes 40-something ol’ me appreciate its balls a lot more. Amusingly enough, I stand by that the original movie didn’t need a sequel, and the man who made that sequel apparently agreed with that idea so much… he made this particular sequel.

If you would like to fall into this rabbit hole – here are a couple of the places I did research:
Gremlins 2 Q&A w/ Joe Dante
The Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies

Some movies build a universe that expands the lore and mythos, that delves deep into other characters and builds new ways to love what you already loved.  They are treasures that feel like each moment is a part of a greater whole.

Some movies need to make rent so they sell themselves to whatever bidder happens to have a coupon for a McRib Value Meal.

Today, the Somethings are talking about the latter of those two – movies that went one strong, maybe two strong, but somewhere down the line you can find a copy of their 4th outting stuck to the bottom of the DVD Value Pack box at RiteAid.  Or they’re loved and we’re monsters and you’ll have to tweet us to tell us why.

So let’s get this year started right!

Ok, here we go!

Full Episode

Hey Somethings, PCR here!

So, this week’s blog, I wanted to talk about some actors I’m… well.. just not fond of.  I’m not talking “Oh, I didn’t like so-and-so in this role…” or “I thought they’re portrayal of blahblahblah was…”  No, I’m talking about a level of “I couldn’t care less” that sometimes makes it difficult to watch things they’re in.

Anthony Mackie – Is he Captain America?  Yes.  Will I go see the new Cap movie in the theaters when it comes out?  Most likely not.  It’s convoluted.. it’s not because I don’t want him in the role.. as a comic book fan it 100% makes sense.  It’s also a huge point of diversity which is also awesome…. I  just don’t like him as an actor.  It’s not that I find him “bad”, I just don’t find him compelling.  I was able to make it through his previous MCU movies because his screen time was tempered by his castmate’s screen time.  I was “meh” on Falcon and the Winter Soldier (mostly due to having to watch him more).  His episode of Black Mirror was intriguing, but to me, still middling… and I couldn’t even finish the first episode of S2 of Altered Carbon when I saw him in it.  He just doesn’t grab my attention.

Aaron Paul – Now, to be fair, I haven’t seen him in much that WASN’T Breaking Bad.  Yes, the show was amazing, but any time Jesse was on the screen, I just sighed and sucked it up because I knew he HAD to be.  El Camino?  It was… how do I say…   “boring”.  I recently started binging Westworld (more on that in an upcoming episode).  Seasons 1 and 2 were phenomenal… Season 3 had… issues.. and… Aaron Paul.  As soon as I saw him on my screen I thought “Well fuck… he’s going to end up being integral and we’re going to see a lot of him aren’t we…”  I wasn’t wrong.  I haven’t started S4 yet, but, I’m hoping Caleb ends up getting the “Teddy” treatment before too long.

Joan Cusack – Ok look, I don’t have an answer for “Why?” on this one.  I just can’t stand seeing her on my screen.  I couldn’t watch the American version of Shameless thanks to her.  I was mildly interested in A Series of Unfortunate Events until she showed up on my screen and I turned it off and never went back.  I’ve only seen 2 movies she’s ever been in, and they were long enough ago that I don’t think I even knew who she was at the time.  I’m sure she’s a great person, but she can be a great person and not be on my TV ever too.

What about YOU?  Do YOU have someone who.. you just can’t stand to watch?  Let us know!

ALSO

Do you like Star Wars?  Do you like Audio Dramas?  Well how about a Star Wars Audio Drama?!

Author Crystal Storm has been doing just that!  Check out “Legacy : A Star Wars Audio Drama”!