Author: RevVoice

Right now – if, all of a sudden, this opening introduction was interrupted by — hey! Look! It’s THE SMOKE MONSTER!

Ok, he’s gone, but wasn’t that crazy and sort of ironic given we have a previous relationship with him so it makes sense, but ultimately is more of a meta commentary than an actual one about the contents of the show and the surprise of a guest who didn’t even get a word in.. or, in that instance, a chain rattling?

So, since that happened – why don’t you settle in with Hatton and Rob as we discuss our favorite cameos in film — ROBERT DeNERO!? What are YOU doing here?

Oh, Bob.. that scamp… Ok, here we OHHH IT’S PERD HAPLEY!

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The announcements of WWE’s new video game are out, and I laugh and laugh every single time because at the end of the day: nothing changes. To be fair, if there is a WWE game that ever deserved an eyeball, it will be this year, but I don’t expect a lot. Why this year? Because the last WWE game was a trainwreck beyond trainwreck that damn near destroyed the studio that was building it.

It was not only a dramatically similar game to the year prior, it was a buggy mess.. and when it comes to games, like most sport-oriented games, where year to year they just slap a new coat of paint and update the year, it was shockingly funny – especially when they ask a top dollar price for these games and offer at least 6 months worth of DLC.

So, with that in mind, I thought I’d talk about a few features I would love in a wrestling game.

GM MODE
But Hatton, tons of wrestling games have had this – and they do, but never the way I want.. and I think that’s because wrestling sits in this strange ‘liminal’ sport. It isn’t a REAL sport, so it isn’t as simple as putting two teams against each other, but in a video game it isn’t entirely SCRIPTED. That means that you have this mix of an action game and The Sims, where your results are based on vague numbers like ‘Audience’ and ‘Rating’.

I want a much more story driven GM mode. Literally, the fictional GM in a fed where putting good wrestlers into nonstop bad matches gets them mad at me or creating shows of 5-star classics gets me a raise. Where I can slowly make bad wrestlers into main eventers, and I can make people thrilled with Hogan is defeated by Barry Horowitz.

HEEL / FACE MODE
There is one game that does this – and if you’ve talked to me about wrestling games, I’ve probably apologized for loving it.. and that’s Rumble Roses. Do heel stuff, you go bad guy. You save good guys, you become a good guy. Yes, in Rumble Roses, the good guy is a sexy librarian and the bad guy version is a dominatrix librarian… but the idea is still badass.

NO MERCY’S STORY – BUT A BETTER GAME
Bring on your hate. No Mercy for the N64 isn’t a good game… want proof? How did you beat the APA in a NO DQ Handicapped match? I’ll tell you how – you stood outside and threw stairs at them until one of them was knocked out because it was impossible to win by wrestling them.

No Mercy, though, has one of the greatest storylines in wrestling gamery.. the story has branches, and tells you where the branches are. If you win this match you’ll go discover THIS plot – if you lose, THIS plot. If you knock out the ref, DIFFERENT plot. It was so unique and such a great way to show the avenues wrestling can go in, I am shocked nobody has tried it since.

In the end, I just want a wrestling game that feels engaging to me, a guy who likes playing video games alone. I don’t care about online play, and I don’t want a stat-grinder.. I have Disgaea for that. I want what wrestling really is – and that’s interesting stories – albeit, interesting stories told by men in shiny underpants.

Send all your scathing disagreement about No Mercy to @RevVoice and @STSTCast, and we’ll see you next time!
– Hatton

♫ Three two one.. let’s jam..

Do those few words blow your mind out with a brass section? Do you immediately start thinking about bloodshot eyes, gunplay, and corgis?  Well, if not, then you are probably going to be very confused about this episode, as we are talking about the end of the Netflix live-action of Cowboy Bebop.

Bounty Hunters against the world – and we are only watching the last episode… does it hold up? Was the show worth another season? Is anime even possible to do right on the bigger screen?

Let’s talk about it here – on The End: Cowboy Bebop

Ok, here we go, space cowboy…

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The Wheel has returned… and the narrative of the Wheel takes a new turn!  Get it? Nevermind…

Anyway, there are some new topics on the Wheel, and we have been hit with one of them.  You know how Rob and Hatton are always talking about their favorite things? Well, this week they are talking about the Bottom 5, the worst, the shameful, the hysterically bad, and the ‘wait what?’ in the realm of computer generated graphics and green screen in film.

So gather round and think back to all of those horrible aliens, blood splatters, and technological marvels that were clearly added in post, just like your hosts on BOTTOM 5: CGI

Ok, here we go!

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Well dip me in chocolate and gift me on Valentine’s – one of the games that I love that nobody really mentions, Chrono Cross, is getting the Square Enix video game remake treatment. I’m elated, although that is tempered by the fact that Squeenix are notorious for giving “important” games a notable spit and polish, while only giving games like Chrono Cross – games that didn’t move the needle – a visual upgrade, but then never go back to fix the new bugs or UI issues they’ve created.

With that in mind, I thought I’d drop three more games here that I would be ecstatic over if they got an out of nowhere remake – games that I’ve sunk a dumb amount of time into that have been lost to shruggable sales figures so not as many people are willing to part with their nostalgi-bucks.

ADVENTURES OF LOLO
I’ve mentioned this game at least once before, it was a single screen puzzler where you were a little blue ball trying to collect hearts. It was 100% a game for puzzle nerds, but it was, at times, gruesomely hard. You could call it simply a revved up sokoban-style game, and it is, but there were so many wonderful additions, power-ups, monsters, and evil mechanics in that game, I’d be on line day one to get a copy of something new.

KLAX
If you know this game – you already are hearing the sound of small colorful bricks slapping against each other. Klax looks like you took Guitar Hero and made it makeout with Tetris. A match three game with colorful bricks clacking down a chute.. I don’t know why I played this every time I found it at an arcade.. I don’t know what weird itch it scratches in my brain – but Tetris Unleased shows you can take something simple and give it a fresh coat and have it be amazing. Klax deserves that very treatment.

TRON
I hear you, if you are a nerd of a certain vintage, ‘Do you mean Deadly Discs or Light Cycles’ and the answer is – yes, obviously. We live in an era of VR – of big arena games – of Battle Royale games – we live in an era where a series of Tron games, whether alone or in a Fall Guys style ‘the last 10 people don’t make the next round’ would be astounding. All I’ve asked for in this world since I was 8 was a good modern light cycles game. (There have been attempts, none have been given the Hatton seal of approval) — but why not Deadly Discs? Why not firing your disc against a spinning MCP? Why not flying a Recognizer over the Grid to escape? WHY – NOT!? ANSWER ME!?!??!

…sorry. What are some games that you think deserve some re-thinking? You know where to let us know!
– Hatton

It has been a long time since we have tackled the world of comic book swashbuckling, so we’re doing it with style by inviting one of our ol’ friends to talk funny books and martial arts – the maestro of Kung-Fu Drive-in Podcast, Geoff Vita!

We’re heading off to Ta Lo to discuss some of the bigger pictures of the new Marvel Phase, discussing representation in the new run of Marvel movies, and of course how much kickass is the new MCU butt-kicker kickin

So join us as we head to a mystical land, and remember, ‘kick, punch, it’s all in the mind‘

Ok, here we fu!

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It’s February, and you know what that means… it’s time for another episode. I actually am not entirely sure what else it could mean.  

To start off this month of love, we are bringing one of America’s sweethearts to the front of the line. He has been an action star, a romance star, a heist star, a car star, and a truffle farmer st– wait what? Anyway.. it’s Momma Coppola’s Baby Boy – Nicolas Cage. 

From a meme legacy to being a lot of people’s favorite dirty secret… Cage has been in a LOT of movies, and we’re here to just talk about a few of our favorites.  So settle in, swallow after every thing you say, and keep your mouth slightly agape – it’s time for our favorite Nic Cage movies. 

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We do our best to not get political – we have our opinions, but it is totally not what the Somethingcast is about… so if we take away any perceived anthropomorphic attraction anyone has to the Green M&M, and we disregard any fanfiction that may have been written about her, Erin the E-Surance Girl (Remember her? If not.. don’t google her), and the Michellen Man in a menage tire. What we’re left with is a time-honored question of what really is the best candy out there?  So, because it’s kinda what we do, I compiled a list of mine, and my dentist’s favorites…

Reese’s Sticks – It’s sad that these seem to be falling out of favor, as I’ve seen them less and less. Soon they won’t be at your regular old convenient store and you’ll have to go to the weird convenient store with the brown paper top shelf magazines. Anyway, they are just Reese’s versions of Nutty Buddies, with a notable layer of peanut butter… and given that 20% of my bodyfat is made of peanut butter, I’ll pick these over the highly inferior (but also delicious) Cups any day.

Sour Patch Kids – There was a time where I ate so many sour patch kids, my tongue felt like it stopped working for a day. Ever eat so many sour candies that you get a tongue pimple? Or you fray the sides of your cheek?  Ever eat so many Sour Patch Kids you can’t eat them for a year because it reminds you of how sick you made yourself on them the last time, but still.. you kinda want to get the bag anyway? I would hope, by now in this list, you realize that I may have a bit of a candy problem.

Hi-Chews – Ok, I don’t know where these things came from. Apparently, they’ve only been around for a comparatively small amount of time – but they took the 80’s candy Bonkers, which were like Starbursts, but suuuper chewy, they mixed them with weird Japanese candies so you can have flavors like ‘Lychee’ and ‘Red Mango Pomegranate Tea’ and they just made them miserably delicious.  Out of every candy on this list, this is the only one I will say no to, as you can taste the damn things ripping out your fillings… and you just don’t care.

Now, most of this list is not in order, but my number one favorite candy in the world is almost part of my identity at this point.. friends of mine will buy me a bag of these on my birthday or tell me if they tried a new one…

Trolli Peach Rings – I don’t know what it is. I’m super picky about Gummies, because I think most of them taste way too too sweet or they’ve used some amount of sucralose so they have that fake nasty taste… but the Trolli brand Peach rings, the ones that are half yellow and half peach, that are just a hint of sour, but melt immediately into sweet. Color me green and call me Kermit, these things have caused me nausea by how many I’ve eaten in years gone by. It’s a sickness. They’re masterpieces of deliciousness.  When I see some other company has a peachring candy, oh, I’ll try it… but none can top these.

So, what are your favorite sexy candies?  You know where to tell us

Podcasts… The Final Frontier..

It’s time for the first End of 2021, so we are going to the future to talk about one of the godfathers of modern sci-fi – Star Trek – and discussing its final episode. Will Kirk and the boys hold up the banner of Starfleet high and make us all feel comfortable with the future Roddenberry envisioned… or will they try and tell us women are amazing and gentle creatures prone to psychotic mood swings?

Find out on THE END: Star Trek ..but you probably already have it figured out.

Ok, here we boldly go..

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We’re back with The Wheel – and where it stops, nobody knows… well, I mean.. we do, because we recorded it.. and you do because you can see the episode title. Look, work with me, ok?

Anyway, what do you think about artificial intelligence? What do you think about the idea that computers out there will one day take us over completely and we will be slaves to their machinations? Did Asimov have it right about making sure they can’t hurt us? Or is it all just a bunch of claptrap hooey for sci-fi writers and the 5g chip embedded in your mind?

Join us as we take a dive into a topic we honestly have very little right talking about, but that’s never stopped us before. It’s time for Mysteries of the Somethingverse: Artificial Intelligence

Ok, here we go – if the overlords allow us…

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